Sur-Prizes!

Sur-Prizes!
Honored by Usha Ma'am & Rukhiya

Uneclipsed

>> Jun 29, 2008

A collage of memories
bring in autumn leaves
To my window.
A heart that rejoices lonesome
interiors and admires
Abstract arts ,
is poisonously indefinite,No?

Though turtles race
Abjecting time ,why can not
I ?
Is this the reason
You paint the smoky sky
With different shades?

Wishes abounds fill the
palette of my senses
with coloured glasses
As I observe gray streets
from kaleidoscopes.

But when its black,
How will you protect
My fragile self
being unreal ,
Invisible?

For its only Your touch
What speckles the diamond ring
from the eclipse that
blots me black .

SoUmY@


P.S.--I hate doing this but

lemme put my visions.I know its not to be discovered unless its told.But try to match the far fetched analogy if possible.Time =society , turtles = the scientists who used to spoon feed religious preachers of then , kaleidoscope is said to be Galileo's invention first , You is obviously God , 'when its black' means when ppl r not to see the truth how can u speak the truth out and only an eclipse could prove earth goes round the Sun not the other way around.That was his diamond ring of quest.And the last black is what makes him blind as he grows older but eclipse never came.

that is why it is Uneclipsed.

Galileo was a great admirer of art too :)

Thank you for your patience!!



5 well-wishers:

Rukhiya June 29, 2008 10:01 AM  

A collage of memories
bring in autumn leaves
To my window.
A heart that rejoices lonesome
interiors and admires
Abstract arts ,
is poisonously indefinite,No?

A brilliant verse in itself. one of your very bests. Though I think it could have been a collage o autumn leaves that bring back memories to the window silt.

Though turtles race
Abjecting time ,why can not
I ?

A simple question that strikes at many levels!

Wishes abounds fill the
palette of my senses
with coloured glasses
As I observe gray streets
from kaleidoscopes.

Another WOW verse!

For its only Your touch
What speckles the diamond ring
from the eclipse that
blots me black .

Clincher!!!

Id wanted to pick and dissect each owrd of it, but here the flow is impeccable, neatly tailored with a superior touch of metaphors and words laced effortlessly.

On another level, this can be taken as a tale o love, recounted in its dark days, and it utterly pains to think so too.

But the level u put this to, is astounding.! Brilliance is yours! God keep u! and il gift u another long episode o silence :)

Kalm-na June 30, 2008 3:07 AM  

m too much blown away eah time by the quills u decipher..
i dont gather words to evn praise a single line
Forget me!

Winnie the poohi July 01, 2008 12:00 AM  

Loved the analogy.. n the fact that it can be interpreted in many ways!

Usha Pisharody July 01, 2008 10:35 PM  

For me this is one of your most abstract poems...:) Not to say that it loses anyway by being that:) Rather, I like the confidence so utterly evident in your writing, that makes you take this step across the divide of words, and step into the world of metaphors and analogies! It takes a braveheart to do that, and you've proved yourself to be a true blue, with this brilliant poem!

An opening stanza should be such that it sets the tone, and creates that aura, an impression.. and its here, the entire collocation in the collection of memories, the lonesomeness, the insidious feel of being poisoned by the emotion!!! Superlative..

And from there, there is no looking back.. You go on and paint those pictures with surrealism, from your palette of experience and research!!

This is that diamond ring of the eclipse, alright! No doubt about that! I know I have missed much, but for now, I shall have to be content with what I can take for now:)

I must have forgotten...
This is just AWESOME!!!

Sashu... July 04, 2008 4:42 AM  

*gasps*

Though turtles race
Abjecting time ,why can not
I ?


profoundity! daz wat diz muse is all about...at various levels, hinting yet not screamin out aloud..subtle wi dat endearin quality...!

n de laz stanza, itz like a final note, dat takes de write off to a higher plane- of sheer brilliance!!!

Awe struck!!

The Hungry Tide

Inspirations Continue...

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