Honored by Usha Ma'am & Rukhiya

Have I Ever Told You That I Love You?

>> Dec 19, 2006

dis poem is 4 all dose ppl who didn't have da heart to tell his/her love 'i love u'..if u r still waiting..wat r u waiting for??!!.go and tell dem ..that u love her/him....b4 its too late...

Have i ever confessed?
Have i ever told you that i love you?
On that morning
When the sun rose red
Did i look at your eyes?
Had i the power to look into those-
innocent,a lot shy after the night's sleep
and let my eyes speak?
On that very night
when we had gone for a nightwalk
Didn't my heart run faster?
Didn't my emotions go deep?
Amongst the millions of stars and a lone moon
Didn't i press ur hand?.....a bit?
But i couldn't say i love you.
Today if its not too late,
if you remember those unspoken words,
if you ever had fathomed my expressions
I would like to look straight into your eyes
to hold your hands gently
And ask-if its not too late
Have i ever told you that i love you?



>> Nov 20, 2006

Death o thy deeath,Can't you wait a bit more?
How many immatured lives did u take?
How many claims went unnoticed?
And those who craved for you...
You kept them waiting--selfishly,cruelly.
you are the inevitable,the absolute one.
Still you come--uninvited,unwanted.
Can't you see those faces?
Those faces praying for your absence.-
A bit more,perhaps some more time.
Can you see those tears
dried up between the eyes?
And a hint that many are still in store!
Here is the son who will lose his guide
The wife who will lose her entity.
The relatives who will lose their beloved.
And you!!you will claim just another life!!
Oh death,O thy death,I request you
Can't you wait some more time?



>> Oct 27, 2006

Can there be a rebirth in a single life?
A rebirth that too as a poet.
Remember the days,the gold old days.
I was running after my wishes.
My ambitious mind in search of a longdue fame.
Life was so fragile that time that
I couldn't recognise my simplest of happiness
For i was busy in other bigger dreams.
perhaps in such a moment i had got a paper
and i scratched a few lines on it.
That was it.
I realised it that day how does it feel to create.
'Is this what it feels to be god'I asked.
Simplest of work,unnoticed,hesitant
brought me tears in my eyes.
After so many days i bitterly wept.
Life was aloways at my doors
It was only me who had gone for it elsewhere..
Someone screamed,"you're a poet can be famous"
And someone whispered,
"Beyond the window lie your mundane desires
the fame you deserve
And here,somewhere,something is in store."
I went up to the window to shut it down.
And sat down....
Sat down with my first few lines of poems.



>> Sep 25, 2006

It was raining that night
The night where the sky was black
And I was awake.
Awake for the reason U'd have come
Just to get a glimpse of me.
I couldn't see ur face
But i used to read it,-
the face where feelings used to wave
and expressions deep .
I thought i had found my true love.
on those torn papers u used to throw
I could feel ur presence
I Could feel how much u loved me.
At last someone who had loved my innerself
Not my body,not da trace of flesh and blood.
But i was so wrong.
I had forgot,my wheel chair,-
my steely truth.
I could see ur face that day
when u saw me in that chair.
Compassion had crept in place of love
In ur eyes I could read that naked truth
"Oh my god,This girl is handicapped!"
Suddenly those night visits,those torn love notes
those innocent sentiments were gone.
I felt very ashamed,i felt strange.
Still i sat on that balcony the next night
My weak mind convinced of a glimpse of u
You were not there
It was not raining that night
But i know not why the sky was even darker
I discovered that night
Our love was just as I was
perhaps u too,......DISABLED.

DIS POEM OF MINE IS NOT against dose disabled persons who have lost love...but 4 dose who have left love bcoz dey were mentally handicapped and couldnt accept luv's physical disabled state.



>> Sep 12, 2006

Remember that night,
That very night when we were together
On that garden,beside that big leafy tree.
I could see ur face--vibrant,giggling unbound.
Night sky had light up all the stars
perhaps to see your face.
Never ever had i dreamt of that moment
when my lips-warm and eager
touched yours-shivering,expectant.
Our first kiss--
Can i describe the feelings we had?Never.
your big eyes,i kissed them too.
it was more of an emotional eagerness
Than of a physical need we knew.
I could see your eyes wet
Sometimes tears tell a lot more than smile does.
Those expressive eyes,
I didn't have anything to say.
It meant a lot.
Silently but surely I whispered
I Love u my love.
May be within myself,may be i didn't at all
But words were too blunt to play any part there.
I took you in my arms.
We sank deep into the wavy grasses
and our heads held high to tell the stars
"We will be awake tonight to accompany you."
It was a dream,a dream which came true.
Unknowingly and unwantedly the stars began to fade.
Time for a new day.
Nature was to be blamed.
It was too perfect to be called selfish
or too selfish to be named perfect!
With sleepy eyes I looked at your face.
I had heard people look innocent when they sleep
And your face personified the fact all over.
Last night it was a truth which I had dreamt of
Now its fading off,the whole day is ahead.
It would be a dream which i had wished to be true,forever.



>> Aug 21, 2006

Put out the light.
I am blind,blind to the world.
Sunrise and sunset
the words are only different.
I dont know what colours are.
i even wonder what black is.
I see vacuum,I see blank-
actually,i see...nothing.
May be I am blessed.
I dont see people cry.
I don't see them die.
Ican't see innocents getting molested.
Rape a girl and i can't see that too.
They are all events,described ones.
Let them be like that,I pray.
I am blessed.
but i have felt how love fail
I know how relationship goes fake
even can i realise how friends betray.
I am blind,so be it.
You are not,I beg u
Put on the light.



Turn me down not
for I will be there all the time
Waiting for you,for that one fine moment.
When you will look around
Your eyes,searching a trace of my heart.

Turn me down not
for i will be there when you're alone.
Alone,with a pleading mind.
ressurected from the thrash of a heartbreak.
You will ask for something,only to realise
I'm standing with more than myself to give to u.

Turn me down not
when i wl b there at ur doorstep.
willing to show you the night sky.
where thousands of stars will lit our footsteps.
and none of us would say a word.

Turn me down not
for i will hold ur hand one day.
My feet will protest and my heart will race
My lips can get stuck still i would manage
"Can we.....??"
Please turn me down not then.



>> Aug 6, 2006

It is raining the whole day.
The boy,standing beside da window
A vacant look,pale face of his.
I dont dare to xplore his mind.
His best friend has died last nite.
I shivered.
Why does lyf become so rude to us!
Best friend,-part of our soul.
I could see my good old dayz.
The togetherness we enjoyed,
the times we had let off,unnoticed.
feelings we shared...
unuttered words,unspoken dreams--
We didn't ever had to share verbally.
In dose good times
HE was there with others..enjoying,smiling
In my bad times
He was there,alone,still trying to smile.
His presence gave me confidence
Mine gave him warmth.
How is it lose such a friend!
I looked up,straight to the boy's face.
Tears were coming down from eyes.
Raindrops,tear--they all were mixing up.
I held a paper high above my head.
Nature's sympathy and heart's latency soaked up.
A piece of imagination was wriiten wid invisible ink.
A poem of love,life and dreams-all lost forever.
I started walking down da road
Behind rain and emotions were pouring in,-


Mother,i want to be home

>> Aug 5, 2006

I remember the days
drenched in sweat and mud
i used to scream "mother,I am home."
those were the moments;
innocent screams,however louder they were
had an intimacy of their own.

I stil remember the days
jostling and fighting in da field
we used to behave like enemies
those were the moments
childish pranks,however violent were they
had a softness of their own.

My memory still flashes wid dose
when it was the first spring,
i fell in luv,i really did
those were the moments
true love,however immaturish it was
had a purity of its own.

today,i stand over money summed up.
today,i ask for watever i want to.
today,i buy fame and glory wid time.

still when i am alone,
i remember those days.
i tried and i failed; i realised
money can't buy true love that i lost.
I wanted but i learnt today
money brought wid it loneliness i asked unwantedly.

Today i am alone.
i try to recall my childhood
dose innocent dream,dose natural sentiments...
i know not when did i cry last
but i feel like today...
i cry silently,i cry impatiently;
i scream wid a voice unheard
"Mother,i want to be home,...... again"



DIS IS NOT WRITTEN BY ME credit goes to tania mukherjee too ....still i wld like to share dis poem in my blog as i hv written last half...

an autumn boulevard lined with golden trees-
from where golden leaves fall,
the blue,cotton streaked sky,a naughty breeze;
i walk till i encounter a wall.
on the wall sits an apostle-
an apostle of friendship,warmth,love-
amidst the busyness of the world;the hustle n bustle-
manifestation of serenity,peaceful as a dove.
i stand beneath nature's warmth,da mother's arm
where tenderness embraces heart and soul.
every prayer is answered wid a softness of its own
And da almighty looks after as nothing goes foul.
the golden leaves wave a new meaning as i walk
along the wall that is there
wealth comes up wid a definition in my mind
as feelings share and emotions care.
A realisation dawns upon as i grow expectant
and set my mundane desires run free
I kneel down wid my eyes sobbed and ashamed
gradually surrender my greedy heart to Thee.



>> Jul 23, 2006

It feels like heaven isn't it.I asked my friend.
From da garbage of concrete to come to a village.
We were on our way along a ground.
As far as the eyes can run,dere is nthng xcpt da ground
the flies,the dew drops,the grass ask our whereabouts.
I feel dey r whispering.
After a lot of dayz it was back to childhood
wid my friend i ran towards the unknown through the ground
we ran,we stopped,we gasped for fresh air.we breathed...
then again ran,ran harder.
it was not any cat n mice run in whc we r often indulged in
it was to feel the divinity,to surrender myslf to da freshness of nature.
suddenly one or two drops...and den rain came pouring in.
life cant b sweeter...we pushed ourself harder..
we got sobbbed..we got drenched
after so many dayz for da 1st time i realised how to love life
exploring da ground was an excuse
may b we were to explore our innerself..
30 years of hardcore reality couldnt do it
but 1 hour of nature's intimacy saw our soul through.
salvation wat else i smiled.
da sky was clearing up wid occassion of flashes.



>> Jul 12, 2006

The path of life has so many turns.
In any of the turns success allures u.
some other way failure frightens.
You get provoked by desires.
love nurtures our emotions.
feelings creep up with all its curiosity
maturity broadenes the point of view.
At the end of it when all expressions go fake
friendship awaits my life at the ultimate corner.
defining a friend seems like the toughest job
still words pile up wid restless intimacy.
mind listens to it with an eagerness of its own
as expressions dominate sentiments and rationality.
A friend with so innocent heart yet so matured thinking
A girl with such a precious smile and amateurish thoughts
I never ever had expected life to find thou heart
Never knew dat friendship will unfold such a lane
where wid all her maturity yet childishness
with emotions cared and feelings shared
this gal would b waiting like a true friend.


An evening of romanticism

>> Jul 8, 2006

It was raining in da evening,light showers.
I was at a music concert,alone.
music my soul searcher and sole companion.
As it started the rhythm,the music itself took me to a differnet place.I had entered the concert not beacuse i wished for but i wanted to hide from solitude.The atmosphere showed me a divine height.A situation so deep in itself that i relaxed.As the artist carried on and on I kept getting buried,-buried under the soil of divinism and romanticism.Solitude was a luxury then that i could have preferred and atmosphere a bliss that I cherished.Sitting on a chair where everythng was dark still enlghtened by music,a place where audience were silent still speaking to their mind, I had a feeling of how small I small are we in front of this greatness.What do we possess!what do we take pride in!!Silence,sudden pause between songs let me sink deeper,realise every word those were taken care of by tunes.
Time passed on,quickly and selfishly.It was then;da curtain started dropping.A function over for everybody.But did I hear it right?Every single note,every tone were still caressing,whispering around the hall.Beyond the a.c. auditorium, materialistic and polluted air awaits its eight victims(i mean da octets).My feet trembled,protested to go outside.I looked around.They were still there.I grabbed them with pleading heart and a refreshed mind.i walked on.It was romanticism afterall.Who said romance has to be with some mortal flesh and blood body?I did it with music.An evening of musical romanticism served me with an inspiration of lifetime,assured me of companionship..An evening of romanticism.



>> Jul 6, 2006

hv tried to share my emotion thru a half poem half essay type piece..its not as artistic or poignant as a poem but its wat i call sharing my feeling in a diffrnt way..hope u all wld like to write sumthng bout dis topic

Today is our school leaving day.
The big gate is just infront.
large gate with iron beams in it.
Beyond the gate a matured future is waiting.
Yes,i am in my school for the very last time.
never did i have a second thought while crossing the gate after leave
but today was different,really different.
Couldn't i see the sparkling tear drops in our teacher's eyes?
Ours were filled up too.
maturity at the cost of innocent times is not worth it.
moments me and my friends spent,cherished for years-
they were coming back as a collage--frame after frame.
it hapenns to evrybody i consoled myself.
but it was not enough.
"its dark outside.what r you doing here.go home"said the gatekeeper.
I shouted,"I know,rain is going to pour in tonight."
my last words fainted with sob mixed with raindrops.



>> Jul 2, 2006

Life was sailing smooth until you came in my life.
How much smoother you can be,i asked life.
The days we first met,how can i forget.
Remember the dayz we were together my love.
My thoughts didn't have any arguments,rationalism.
it was only you who had my thoughts borrowed.
A poet,so I was,and you loved me very much.
So many lines came from my heart and they were true.
You and me and our poems.this was it.
We didn't go for an expensive dinner;
We didn't go for an elusive party.
A poem,a heart's warmth couldn't buy us the luxury.
but last week i went to your house.
your sudden rational mind asked me out politely.
We can love each other but can't go forward.
Because I'm a poet,a poet only with words!!
Words can't assure you a life smooth and happy.
I agreed.
But shouldn't i be given a chance?
My poems inspired by you got betrayed.
Feelings shared and emotions cared-all were lost.
I couldn't convince an already made up mind.
A poet can love,i screamed.
Oh!how can i forget he can only love.



>> Jun 24, 2006

It was raining that day
We two met at a garden
On that bench which was all wet
our mind too.
I proposed to you,I remember-
on my knees,with a rose.
More of a convention than of a feeling i suppose.
Seconds went by like ages past
You were all red.
"If you had really loved me soumya,
You wouldn't have so easily said you love me
pile of emotions would have robbed you of words"
Sentiments mixed with silence is what love is all about
I discovered and learnt it that day.
If I had really loved you....

It is shining today
We two do not meet anymore.
On that bench where it is all dry
memories reside but emotions fly.
If silence mixed with grief was to be called disappointment
So be it,I said to myself with voice permanant.
Strolling towards the bench i knew
Eyes were following me though very few.
I sat and cried with eyes sobbed.
I knew what i missed,from what i was stopped.
A hand anchored my shoulder.the touch i got
A shiver through the spine recalling my happiness I forgot
"YOur tears tell me a thousand times that you love me.
Emotions,all about love,how can i let them free."
I held her hand with no words spoke
She prssed my hand on a happy love note.
Poems are stories told in a matured way
Truth it depicts as feelings fly near and away.


>> Jun 10, 2006

Words,they are only words and nothing else!

Words they are only words and nothing else!
Success comes up with words of praise.
Failure comes with mouthful of consolation.
We live life and love life
Words flow and never stop like time doesn't.
Memory speaks a hundred words
Separtion craves for words of meeting.
Happiness flows with spontaneous words.
Bitterment searches them but nowhere.
Music makes words look gorgeous.
Quarrel hates them so throws out.
Solitude finds them to solliloque
and death gets the deepest of them all,-silence.
words are only words and at last nothing else.



>> May 22, 2006

Something was there in the early morning breeze
I got up shivering.
Last night it was you,not dreams,with whom i shared my sleep.
The day began,memory freshened.
It was time to think of you again.
Let us meet in the afternoon I thought.
I would tell u today that how much i love you.
IS this what falling in love is?I asked to myself.
love is what love and only love can understand.
So I fell in love with you.
How can someone FALL in love??
I rose up in love with you rather.
You took over my nights from dreams.
So dream came crowded in the morning just to remind me of you.
This afternoon i don't care about dress
I will b enlightened by your presence itself.
this afternoon i will b optimistic
Becasue I have given myself no other choice.
This afternoon I will hold your hand n walk side by side
Because i want to share my heart's warmth with yours.
This afternoon I will rise up in love
Beacuse i have seen the steps where love awaits me at the top
With its serenity,maturity and romanticism.


DISEASE and living life

>> May 1, 2006

Disease,a mortal thing,very much our own.
Pain,anxiety,fear all meeting at the same end.
We take life as it is,for granted
Untill a sudden nighmarish jerk- a halt to ur steady life flow.
We realise at once how precious life is.
Living normal seems to be such a desired thing then,
though we were never satisfied with it in the past!
Fate,frustration pins us down to reality.
Disease,-the person gasps for a bit of fresh air
Begs for one hour of sleep.
We feel sleeping is important.
we knew but now we realise that we are lucky to be breathing normally.
On the uncertain path of future dayz
disease named unease awaits us
with the ultimate ambition of his-
bleak,pale death cheats our life and time.
Give life a chance,give living a thought.
so that our lungs do not remain subdued
our eyes do not get underpayed
and life gets a chance to live its part.



On that riverside where sand turns to gold
i stand surprised,what beauty nature unfolds!
On that top of the hill,SUN beams reflect
Ever saw any light so soothing,so perfect!
On that village street trees dance with supportive wind
My mind gets auspicous,how much more to find!
the sea,where sky bows its head in respect
deep blue color,who is its architect?
When I look at His wonder son
we,the mankind,God's own creation.
Simple poem written in a simple way
But the truth it depicts is gorgeous anyway
He made us,wished us to realise His place
Nature,with its utmost vivacity is standing,
where joy is everwhere accompanying beauty and grace.


>> Mar 30, 2006


Have we ever seen through ourselves? have we?
On the deep dark streets of memoirs haven't we ever felt guilty??
When the Sun blessed us wid success, didnt we congratulated ourselves?didnt we feel proud?
But when failure eclipsed our good times didn't we blame others?
didnt we make a mutual agreement wid conscience?
How many times have we considered ourselves unlucky--
when the situation was to blame ourselves only.
And fate was there,alwayz,
more as an excuse than a belief.
God got blamed evrywhere we failed.
And we praised ourselves anywhere we won!
Think back,its never too late to change things.
We shouldn't pay for what we have done in the past
but it is the time we take a lessson and see through ourselves.
probably we can clear out the black dots in our mind
wid consciousness added to right judgements.


>> Mar 28, 2006


I have a garden of roses.
flowers-- only friends for me.
different smells match the human emotions i suppose,
the world as it is today,mixed emotions portrayed in small canvas
there are the red roses
they remind me of the vivacity,the enthusiasm i used to have sumday
i know little about the outer world
the activities,the events.
my only source,my garden grows wid worldly experince.
i look at the pink ones-
sensuality,some kind of wisdom.
the black ones-
awares me of the dark shades of human nature.
there are my favorites,white roses.
peace,generosity and kindness all over it.
the fragrance,mixed emotions of human mind-
my garden use to convey them to me.
But until one morning..wat do i see!!!
the white flowers,all of them,have gone pale overnight.
they are no more.
the more i looked i for,disappointed i got.
i searched my garden madly
not a trace of white;nowhere to be seen.
i asked,"Hey God why did u do this to me,why my garden?"
someone whispered,"Boy,i asked the same question to men"
there was silence from both ends.



>> Jan 16, 2006

The time i saw you,did u look at the sky?
it was blue,in its original shade.I never believed in luv at first sight
so i blinked twice,still i luvd u.
th sky was even more bluish that time
my luv was as deep as it could be
as clear as the sky was
remember the dayz when we used to walk holding each othrs' hand?
the sky looked a bit reddish
perhaps ur mind reflected at the large canvus
a bit excited,a lot happy.
things were goin so good i didnt look upto the sky for days
i became partial.
the day when u left the city i looked up again
after so many days it was raining.
it was as disappointed and grey as i was,may b u too.
got ur letter was raining again last night
you're coming back to ur place!!
i went to the roof to tell this to our sky
hah!it already knew that u r home
a rainbow,sky filled with colors,was all i could see.


the night i was murdered

can u see the boy?there,ya there.
leave him.give him a chance to live his life.
they stopped for a moment..looked at me in surprise.
I went on what do u get destroying our families?
tell me why don't u feel the same as if ur family is here?
hey God,can't u see 'what man has made of man'?
should i plead for an undisturbed sleep for one night?
there will b no sound,no noise,no shouts of pain.
why are metals shining in ur hand?why dose holsters on ur belts?
are they enuf to bury the screams of the people u merdered!
do u sleep peacefully?,i asked.
never do u feel sweats on ur forehead when a nightmare wake u up?
give peace a chance.
they didn't listen to me.
their eyes needed to see the WORK done.
still had two bullets left.
i felt a molten metal piece trespassing in2 my leftside.
i fell to the ground.
they were reaching the child i showed.
i whispered,give him a chance to live.
a sudden scream tore the silence apart
for the last time at that nite.



>> Jan 2, 2006

From the dawn of ur life to this very morning
You've got pleasure,pain n many other things.
there were lot to cheer lot to scream
sometimes a sleepless night,a beautiful dream.
moments to share and memories to care
Experience to tell and events to hear.
days r the same as "they soon glided by"
green will the field blue will be the sky.
hope dis day will unfold a new page of ur life
and touch the ideal u always strived.
may u b sweeter than sweet,dearer dan dear
bcoz my frnd it will jst not be another year.
2006,the new year has arrived so make it count
lets make an oath u will b simpler and
our friendship will b sound.


The Hungry Tide

Inspirations Continue...

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