Soumya Scribbles...

They say there are three seasons now. I differ. I say there is only one, greed. But we have remained the same. With ours and with mine With a mind selfishly claiming 'divine'. We have blamed and awaited a full moon. Have feared the scorching Sun, Back-stabbed the winter with a prayer of spring. Mocking this obstinacy, it has rained in winters, Clouds have shaded some summer noons, Autumn leaves have never denied the gravity. The rainbow we see bent with stripes across the horizon, Was straight until you & I realized that the earth is round. SoUmY@

A pen. A pen and a paper. A pen and a paper and a plot. A pen and a paper and a plot and a poet. A poet and a plot and a paper and a pen. A poet and a plot and a paper. A poet and a plot. A poet. A perfect palindrome? Starts and ends in uselessness. SoUmY@

I often stop by the mirror and see If the diary behind my back overshadows me. I know its not possible. Because physics has rules that sets lights straight. But in this world of poets and stories They have a different rule that even they don't know! I fear, One day I will not be fast enough To chase down the words I believe to have caged. I have seen people who are phobic to noise. Trust me, it is still better than silence. SoUmY@

6:00 AM - Alarm clock. 8:00 AM - Office calls. 1:00 PM - Lunch break 6:00 PM - Love awaits. 8:00 PM - Love departs. A routine that we follow is named Love. Difference? Is of a film to that of a theater. How ' much ' do you want? One pound of flesh? no more, no less. Or may be two stanzas full of four lines. One will say the other betrayed, The other will protest under another curtain. If you can not find love Inside the pauses, After the lines, Beyond the adjectives that die down to yet another punctuation, you haven't really felt love, have you? And if you have, still set the alarm clock to a time convenient, You will never know how time runs by and tide awaits Where love lies dead but still pretends. SoUmY@

Purposeless is the soul That lives for his, And is owned by others. To share a word Through love or award Transgresses the barriers And shows us the world that breathes together. A bond that frees us more Binds us less and respects Till infinity tires and rest. SoUmY@ [p.s.- The award logo (butterfly award) is generously passed on to me by Usha ma'am and Sashu , two amongst my very few inspirations @ blogging. Continuing the trend, lemme pass this award link to Rukhiya Cinderella and anyone who finds poetry respectable, its for you. Own it because this logo can not find a better place but your musings museum. So, as Instructed in the Ways of Award Presentation and Conferring, this is what has to be done, as I understand, from Usha ma'am :) 1. Put the logo on the blog. by downloading the picture and adding it as a picture widget 2. Add a link to the person who presented it to you. 3. Pass this one, and link other bloggers that you'd like to share it with.

Hopes are white Nights! I know them black. I met a man the other day He sees but never observes. What is the difference between two lives When at the end you see black and the other observes death? Is the pain any less and certain? I love to see kites flying Do they mean independence? You fly high with your greed strung... A rooted flight, How much can you pay for such freedom? I know I talk gibberish, I have grown old now. I see white and black In stripes of unknown dimensions. But you? You have an irreparable wound of shallowness. I see your blood and that is not blue Will it ever coagulate? You fear, I laugh. You can never know how porous you are; I know. I saw your soul walking down the street that day. You were too busy selling your dreams. SoUmY@ [p.s. -> hemostasis is the cessation of blood loss from a damaged vessel. Coagulation is its defense mechanism docs, pardon me for if I am wrong]

There were times when I used to find nature selfish Because it was seasonal; And not like poetry that comes Even in the outrageous summers or rusty winters Or catalytic rains. Its been long Where Memories have flooded down Many a prayers That had names of us and verses. I still stand under that pine Where words used to come to me Like soft breeze that blows within, For inspirations better lived with you. Today this pauper poet awaits them And the pine leaves fall as if gifting me A silent poetry of yours, in rhythm. I still search for those crystals that My palms had soaked thence. The color of blood was faded that day. SoUmY@

I will put the lights out tonight. Certainty is not you, I know. On the floor where scented sticks burn themselves with aroma, I will remember you. Oh, till how far should the memory be traced If I wish to remember? I will leave the doors open tonight. You are in disguise, I know. In my balcony where full moon reflects And lends me a hazy twin of hers, I will see you refracted inside me. Oh, till how far should the lights obey physics If I wish to see the seen? I will dance in the rain tonight. "Rain is mine", you used to say, I know. On that lawn where droplets evoke soily smell And cold breeze iterates, I will soak you inside me. Oh till how far is it raining? Tell me its the same the droplet that wets me, awaits you. SoUmY@

There will be ours And there will be yours. But what if creations cry out, What are the creators' worth? How can you distinguish Which rose to choose If ever you knew, one plucked Makes the others cry? SoUmY@

In winters I woke up And saw blood in my hand. Blood- of conscience or of realization? I watched my epidermis peeling itself off, As if in hatred for my flesh. Unaffected me crawled across my bed. Because I know, At night, sheepishly When I will come out of My snake skin, I will forget about blood of theirs that had stained mine. I will rejoice the spring Anew. SoUmY@

Virtues & Vices Beauty comes with mortality. It makes me insecure. Because one night, when I discover That it has left me alone for winter How will I answer to my desires? Questions I often wonder what is more futile? To let love fall free When you know of gravity Or To wait for it. What if the same force pulls it down? Do We... May some questions never have answers. Because, you know, I know, In some cases, we never choose the red. We avoid the black instead. ----- Life is never complex. Only the explorer remains confused. Because surety is death, Before that, there is life and Many a tripods SoUmY@ [A pure rambling. Feel free to avoid]

In front of the sea that speaks silence, You and me stand close, counting the waves and inscribing the names of ours on the wet sand. Vulnerability is something that allures one from within Isn't it ? That is why we always choose the sea instead. You wouldn't listen and I wouldn't say, So the obvious silence mixes with twilights And flies on with the wet breeze that caresses. I relive myself with the tides. They accept the inevitable at the shore, Still they rise, if for once, they can grow And never touch the ground, ever again. "Don't you know they never can ?" you say. "Then why do you wait by the sea" , I ask. With yours and mine, our scribbled names, That never were etched deep within the sand, My own optimism rushes them to futility-- Another wave and they are gone, abstruse. What you never know is its not the swells. Its me who disorients the hyphen in between. Then I let the waves to flow, On, In, Through, Over... ...So that you come and I ho...

Thousand of words like these I can write for you Which you won't ever see Which I will put to flames and inhale the blue death Was it too much to ask twice? You will talk of rough edges Point out to missing commas , fullstop. I will nod correcting my emotions At the cost of them When can you ever sense The feeling I have for you Suffocates and dies under the velvet That adorns my poesy But buries my love , ,Interrupted. SoUmY@

At times when I can't sleep , I look at the snowy hills That tells me I have a beloved On the other side , waiting. When there are no stars On a dark night sky , I paint you with waxed emotions That melts in my incoherence , abruptly! They advise me "Before you die , Cross the mountain once" When there is full moon , I wish to. How can I tell them , A dream is a dream and only a dream. To find it is to lose , To let you be is to love. SoUmY@

I don't dread your knives Or your strengths , Because your claws are too cowardice To be shown except between us . The pool of blood You can spill With one stroke of yours Is the one I would have anyway , And have been till now , Under the skin. You never were akin to My veins to see that , Were you? ........ Labelled with relations That can convey higher multitudes, Some creations confuse The creators , don't they? If I tell you this story is of Blood and poisons , Of serpents and avenges would you be careful to consider A man and a woman ? Or A poet and the pen ? Or The creator and His Frankenstein? Can words mislead you to Multitudes of nowheres? So how do we trust them then! SoUmY@

Wait beside that jasmine tree dear. I will find you through the gates of romantic air , Where your charm n her scent dilute into irresistible wishes. We will whisper our dreams On the cold wintry evenings, On the offshore of springs Till the full-moon awares us . "Oh thy beauty can elude the blooming jasmines into early offerings" --I will write such lines or two being far off from the world we call 'real' . We only chose to live the dreams With us together , didn't we? Oh yes, they say To err is human ,to love is divine. So one day I may not kiss you that softly , Your tender palms may seem a bit rough , Still the evening jasmine will remain And spread around our fragrance of love In silent and pure diffusion . Wait under the jasmine tree dear , For that final time. SoUmY@

The sky is yours , So is the wind. On all those treaded paths where Uniqueness recycles , A very common man awaits you. Who never let the icicles melt, never let the chimes to stop humming And never robbed words from his pen For you made him grow . Instead, Scars were all I got . But did you ever notice a tinge of red? Today don't let those wounds heal , Because at my funeral , in your presence I will dip the white roses with blood. If for once you accept ... ...The Eucalyptus will convey my glee. The roots reach where I lie , deep within Where you couldn't ,ever. and from there it will whisper , Would you ? Careful with those fragile leaves dear, Its always been winter. SoUmY@

The crimson sky will depart As the dreamy moon shall glow In its soft and sensuous freedom. Under the starry sky , Where the oyster shells reflect Feeble white hopes , I will write you one letter With no destination . I know you will read it At once. When did we ever need a nylon to show We are threaded ? SoUmY@

I won't call life uneven. It was your smile, Those glances, Subtle nods , whispers that gestured me in this world. And when I am too much in it , You blur out! It is now those green liquids , these stimulators I need To be in a world Where I don't belong. But I must pretend ,I do. When syringes find no more virgin skin , Would you come and take me Where I wish to ? Can you ever squeeze in me To that short space Where green is for hope ? SoUmY@

I He waited for them , But they never came . In the ceremony of words, the cards were never sent to the alphabets. And he sat , lonely , without those guests . A blank page , a vacant gaze. And moments conspired to Poison him slowly. On his last breath , He wrote , ... We conclude , Pauses punctuated him to Death. II He invited them , But they denied. and he slit his own wrist. Failed , deranged. The so called alternatives robbed the soul that remained. They stabbed him , All over. Blood diluted the pigments Of creation. Did someone ever say , Words are blunt ? SoUmY@ P.S.-- Rajarshi's "Poetic Prose" has cast its influence here.

It was an autumn afternoon When we had flown the last kite, Abandoning it at the sky watching the orphaned paper-stick Going away ,far, Somewhere we couldn't see As he had too , for all these years. At this stage of life Where the mind is restless for those lost pictures, the blurry images Were suddenly fresh with his arrival. - Long time , no ? -- Really .Seemed ages. Breathlessly we talked of Memories we knew of us , we had of our own Like kids savouring Their bits of the afternoons. Some moments are Undated! As we walked towards our Youthful reminiscence , Never knew how Space and time abided by emotions. - Look , that kite ! -- So what ? - Should we,now ? -- Who else is watching ? - Do you care? -- -(giggles) And we ran. Silently in unison , For you , A thousand times over! SoUmY@ [For all the friends I have , A true flight it has been for me ,because of you all]

In a perpetual circle of complex vicinity, I stand aloof and wondrous, perplexed with the questions that are too rough to be asked , Too smooth to beget. The mind masturbates With an overpowering lust , follows passion and at last a guilt to take nothing for tomorrow but the night and we find an escapade in sleep. Do we actually? We know we could rebel against things that We don't wish for , But never did , because to us , sins are worth waiting for. As even the snakes meet To climb up the passion of each other , Knowing never that they need an axis to do so , Our spinal chords helplessly await Their turns , but to be defied of limited hopes . I watch the jelly fishes glow on the sea shore , alluring . A life so short lived couldn't have offered more divine a sight while praying for the wave to be intrinsic ; For ever To take it home. SoUmY@

When we sit with each other In assurance , the candle lights up Uncertainty ,but in vain. I see you , a bit. you talk to me , a lot. And we cherish ,both. The flame dances beyond our Shadows ,ever so curious To reach there ,but . We keep things vague ,as if bearing the impotence of that candle to Reach afar. Aren't we the same Even after so many candle-lits? Emotions are more Like this wax . It melts within and burns, Then freezes, -- Disoriented , Misplaced, But still there , Until another match flickers. We await , Not knowing whether to fall prey Or to let it die . SoUmY@

Then you will List , --your Tooth brush and My tooth brush --My Shaving cream --Your cosmetics --My books --Your music player --My clothes --Your clothes --A comb that we will share. --Some medicines I will check And pick up the pen To add -- -- + -- My Love -- Your love? Somehow of all the things, it had to be mentioned if for once we forget To leave it behind. And pretend We didn't , till date. SoUmY@ [Stone me .I know weirdness has its limits]

A collage of memories bring in autumn leaves To my window. A heart that rejoices lonesome interiors and admires Abstract arts , is poisonously indefinite,No? Though turtles race Abjecting time ,why can not I ? Is this the reason You paint the smoky sky With different shades? Wishes abounds fill the palette of my senses with coloured glasses As I observe gray streets from kaleidoscopes. But when its black, How will you protect My fragile self being unreal , Invisible? For its only Your touch What speckles the diamond ring from the eclipse that blots me black . SoUmY@ P.S.--I hate doing this but lemme put my visions.I know its not to be discovered unless its told.But try to match the far fetched analogy if possible. Time =society , turtles = the scientists who used to spoon feed religious preachers of then , kaleidoscope is said to be Galileo's invention first , You is obviously God , 'when its black' means when ppl r not to see the truth how can u speak the truth out ...

All the emotions I could give words to , have somehow dried up with my infidelity with pauses. Now ,they come at once, all too many and I find myself at loss with some rough sketches that were never coloured to poetry. Thoughts have left me with some sheets of papyrus which mock me with criss crosses that are too blue and too frequent. So I travel only in winters To laugh at the naked trees , To wink at your rough exterior And to redeem myself with companionship of being deprived. Still , quite unfairly A cold wind blows Through the windows and nudges my notebook as it strips itself up from prologue to rest , That I had shown dreams to of being limitless. But now, At the verge of perdition it takes revenge of of its countability, baring all. An epilogue awaits. and now So do I . SoUmY@

On moments such as those Sleep used to be pregnantly due for months , When you ,quite in haze with your own assurances Used to break the peace With your belongings,your acquaintances And your parties. Pandemonium had a sweet social escapade in 'gatherings' -- the way you termed it leaving me lonely,miserably alone On a bed that was comfortable for two and misplaced for one, night after night And yet another followed. So when we got separated , Finally in social eyes , I thought of the days I couldn't sleep because of The noise that distancelessly Formed a bubble In between us And burst one day due to my pinpricked tolerance. Then ,like a happy story ends With a spongy touch to heal The pains I had suffered , I set my eyes closed Only to realize there was too much of silence That night. I cried to fill in the void I sank myself in. Either way, An Insomniac. SoUmY@

He creates the backdrop, the lights and the shades. The curtain is coloured blue , detailing situational turnarounds , The sets ,the floors , the bends. And You enter as if unknowingly , Unnoticed ,questioning your own existence at that brink. Where in that stage The protagonists play aloud, Act with authority And remorse in silence , You stand under the sea of darkness Only to be a nobody but one. You clap after scenes , swing with the way the the puppeteer prompts invisibly to your emotions , timing your tears and laughs to Rich benefits, since you see nothing but real illusions. Only the events alter And time ticks on As you play the part of a mute spectator . Then One day your pink hopes Dilute in the colourless wishes of too many shades and leaves you amazed As another curtain falls... And never rises Again. SoUmY@

When I am not here, One day May be the sepiatic sun-rays Of dying afternoon Will haze my picture at the wall. And you , On that spur of the Moment will miss me from Missing Us. For some memories That would suffice such Momentary pain , That I was so relieved at being in love, You will search my cupboards, Drawers for something That would play the Narcotic to your restlessness. If ever , You find that red diary, with parchment glues and Dying fountain inks, You will get to know dear Of chapters I never shared Even with you. You will realize Why I didn't let you In to the Whole of me But Love to fill in for those unexplained pages. Some pigments are too acidic No ? SoUmY@

Yet again in this world An unruly Goliath will slay David , Another Judas will stab Jesus and we will count numbers after the world wars , I ,II ,III. The victims ,the anguishes , the helplessness. You will watch from Inside your house sheepishly,waiting an unreasonable fear. A normal death Would be so comfortably Unexpecting. Isn't it ? And then after the show , When you tranquilize your Conscience with sips of alcohol , You will read out some prophecies loud and go to bed To pounce upon your prey. And it will iterate. Life will recycle Until one day , You will blame the Sand clocks for not being Unequal Except the midnights. SoUmY@

You offer me Clouds I offer you rains, So that I pour down Unto you . You offer me a glass I delude opacity So that eyes don't miss Each other ever. You offer me words, I prefer silence , So that you speak And I listen forever, Mesmerized. You write me a poetry, I offer you me. To live beyond the parchments of words, I live In you, Without pauses. SoUmY@

Your music Brought me to this place Where I don't yearn for the flute To play the reminiscer, Where I don't bear the Pain of angst and despair That my Violins used to Transgress. I was the creator of Those tunes where I injected passion to welcome all , to my parade of prestige. But now its all Too harsh in-front of your Subtle notes, All too incoherent behind Your smiles and giggles. Because I stand in this silent podium Of life , devoid of any glitters, glamours and claps, Realizing the depth of love I have for you , And there I am just too novice to pen a notation. Hold my hand dear So that You teach , I learn and We ripple the silent symphony, that for once and for all melts the Crescendo into Undying refulgence. SoUmY@

Tonight! It will be again Them For whom I will Strip. Put up glowing lipstick, Crimson colors, The ghungroos ; Bangles?? oh! they Are too noisy. And then, Like the way you invite Winter to bare all up Just to let Spring in next, They will do so. Push me where I go Every night. Different faces,same souls. Hungry,Pounding, Confounded in desires and lust. I will take it all. As long as you are there To ask me , "How are you ?" The next morning. Oh! how I love the deceptive Night. Glad I don't have a mirror. How I know how the world is. They never turn up to me In the mornings, except you. Learning it all that 'I' Can't be loved , You ,unpretentiously ,gave me What I dreamt of! And that is what I Loathe. Don't make me dream honey. They are long gone Under the tormented beds of Naked petals. I don't want to feel Purity because Here ,for us , It costs them Five hundred. Door clutches Your next.. SoUmY@

Sometimes in life We rethink a phase When we are done by. Was it destined to Happen only here ? And we ,with our Restrictive calculations Measure the latency : Like as if Moths are to indulge into fire. Its all about romancing that emotion You never knew was inside. But as you did , You care for 'we' Forgetting the effects, Ignoring the age and the hideous 'what if's. Feelings bridge the gaps of two lonesome hearts and You just respond To the call. To name it is to melt the ice that kept the moments frozen. ... Don't you ever. SoUmY@

If it had Only been about appearance, I would have chosen the best brands and accessories and perfumes and make ups to come in-front of you. But what if It had rained that day! Would you have Loved a troubled face ? a messed up me ? I wonder why Love had to be staged when it was only you, Who knew How I am & More importantly How we are. If at all It had no curtains In between. SoUmY@

Beyond the azure sky The first rain awaits Its fall. And down there that blue eyed Boy hopes, He would dilute At the same time with his .. Moments lapse. Then the Drops reunite Whispering one's grief To the other . Who would have thought, Even decadence finds Its solace in Desperate communion! SoUmY@

You give me a White tablet often. White, you say, Your favourite colour. I resonate that to My heart and gulp it down Every night. And you stand assured Pretending a smile , Thinking that I won't know These biochemics would cramp me up, Will stress my nerves Smilingly erasing me to A mental coma. Still I nod And gulp them down In memory of those dreams I saw of us , You promised of us... And kill myself Willingly so that you be Happy , knowing never , That How there would be no tomorrow For you ,after tonight Just like me. "...It was never a revenge dear. Its just the game you played And we lost. Atleast, something together." SoUmY@ P.S.-- The first few lines are borrowed from S.Rukhiya's ''Present..?'' ..Just a different outlook that I tried to manage from the very same context!

I would have loved A nod. Even 'No' Would have been bearable To compromise with Some sleepless nights. But Your compassionate pause Built me a glass wall That was opaque enough To hide my face so that tears could escape Unquestioned. And That was when I started to like the Glass palace around, Because I had to Defy the moments you were in. ... Unaware I fought against me. SoUmY@

Click! And we are captured Into a single page of lamination That holds a hundred others Of memories-- Bitter,sweet, Hurdling,fighting, Laughing,Crying But importantly Together. "Look at her as she smiles" "And look how crazy I was" "Oh you,always flying !" "and Sam ? where is he ?" -- Tons of comments passed on from here and there, As I get my copy of memory And keep it in the diary, That has no dates But a farewell to my friends, Promising nothing, Only a "..will miss you all" to sob me with mine, With tears I didn't know How to shed . As I looked up , I saw in haze some giggling nascent eyes With me , My memory and Them.

The neon lights Create a mystic fog Around the footpaths, As hundreds of faces Enlighten themselves For that brief moment, Passing by the blues,the greens, the fluorescence And smiling a fake smile glittered in naked fashion. On the other way To the dark side of the moon People celebrate success by vodkas and break offs with another sip In the same table, With nuts and guts! Where citylight dares to reach Just a bit. And they laugh at others, and their own fates. As ladies dance their way to Heaven in necropolis Holding on to steely truth, Behind bars! Somewhere in between Lies the scent of the dwellers, Who choose both ways Only alternate days And their souls thrash into Mercedes and Fiats and Marutis. Still they live again As the neons glow With a light that is better put off. And the faces laugh In the fluorescence that reveals plastic To the dark that hides their names. SoUmY@

Tiptoeing through the Darkness as the First glow Reaches us, I come out In that shivering breeze And a blue sky. As I progress with Naked feet, the dew drops die of innocence Comforting ,reminding me Of the last night's tenderness. And I run like a child Willingly leaving all my Burdensome adulthood To the horizon Where you paint a bit of a yellow As if alluring me into it. Happily I reach afar Till I fall short of breath. Panting I return, Promising myself like a teen That I would walk some Extra yards Tomorrow, So that one day I reach where You want me to. Heaven on earth. SoUmY@

Whisper in my ears the anthem of love, For today I feel not welcoming The fear of Snapping the thread yet again. Could we ever Imagine that whimsically Together The bond would only grow mature! "Insane are those who are In love And more so are them Who realize what they are into" You only had told me. Today As I can emote so, An epic of love won't do, A monument would only exaggerate. Proclamation will Defy the magic of silence. So, Being a paraplegic Who played with the icicles Knowing winter isn't going to Last long, I want to build you and me A shade of love And this time... Pray no rains... SoUmY@

I will paint The rainbow for you In my little canvas Of million shades ... Perfection ?? Attainable When I am Us. Sustenance? I can promise. Just That Don't bring me a palette of dark black The day after. SoUmY@

Wishes that make me Come around that boulevard Where lay my condemned silence In isolation, I care for my insecurity And merge with the Anonymity of this world. I kill the dreams That were yet to born And then the innocence dies a virgin Along with them. Never too special What I can offer , I soliloquy, So I remain as no one. And see my Passion urging, Aching for recognition. I object any atonement And The square around me Shrinks in rage against the Lonesome owner. Then, The black rose Loses its petals on a dark moon night! SoUmY@ Powered by ScribeFire .

I sit here to write An epic of love But words don't pay heed To my flowing senses. But what I write is about you. Who held the rain at her footsteps, Who could love the way Gothics shy And who can heal my scars Like I never had. And what I write is about me. Who drenched in the rain Like the raindrops, Who was loved the way He dreamt never. And who cried in the happiness beyond. So if ever the rain stops I would stand near you. If ever the scars anew I would feel your healing touch. If ever I don't sleep I would breathe you to sanity. On that rain soaked sands of Seashore And above the presence of lonesome moon, You would murmur the gentle song That I would echo in silence. And would pray, Somewhere,tiptoeing my wishes Dreams will rush up To another moment of blissful song offerings... SoUmY@

The First Glow.. With misty eyes I stand by the lonesome me. At the place Where our plastic city looks Micronic. And I wait an endless wait. Anticipating, Preparing myself. Emptied the soul for Purity .Didn't I ? Wore the divine bliss Didn't I ? And at that fragment He comes, Rising , efflorescent with His natural grace. And I see the insignificant soul Getting enlightened. I gaze along As he rose On that sky, And within me. As I feel The arrival of a new dawn. Blessed! Dimmed to be Brigher.. On that mundane moment I couldn't have Had the courage to leave Thee If it was not You, To come again! And I stood in the vast expanse Of the Sea shore, On the sands of time That had been soaked in waves Guided by Him. And I see The Sun on the horizon Betokening the final gesture On the azure orange sky. I run,Parallelly As if not to let go of My blessings For an extra moment. Then you glimpse from The twilight. And rob me of my worldly expectations Reassuring ... That I am Still Yours...

.................... ....HerSobsPunctuated TheSilentPoetry IHadToOffer BetweenUs. WordsWereBetrayed ByTheSelfishAgony. AndRemorsefully ILovedThePain. AllIHadWasToEndear TheDistance. SoISnappedOffTheSpaces BetweenUsTo FillTheGapThat WordsCouldn't AndSilenceRefused.... .................ToFill,Ever. SoUmY@ [Sorry for the pain to your eyes.But I am merciless.Lolz] Powered by ScribeFire .

True assurance Comes with realization. May be that is the Reason I could Not hold on to your hands, Or was that because they were too wet? . . . I Curse the rain sometimes.. SoUmY@ Powered by ScribeFire .

Write me a note Colorado, Tell me how many rocks did you dance with ? Write me a note Berlin And tell me how was it to feel the wall falling down ? Can u tell me Marx if it was possible for you to make this world more liberal. I trembled into the soaking rain I trembled into the searing heat. And didn't you notice me Crumbling into dust? I rise, I fall. I break down to break in again Into you, Onto time... I live. then why can't we ? Protestants and catholics, siyas and sunnis dictators and people -- Why can't we be one ! If this is an insane wish and a far off dream Then I want your hand to hold me tight. I want your support To be louder... I want your sanity to be wild and United. Take an oath To live with us To bury the guns and the bombs and the missiles. But not the hammers... We will need them to refuel our hopes and to shake our hands across the borders around the seas and over the hills... Take your axe friend and let us make the first blow to the invisible wall of ...

He won't laugh The insane laugh again. You would never see him Wear that grin, that actually looked More 'boyish'. And I would never have to Wait for him for hours-- Thought the mother. He would never cry In solitude, In the garage. He would never show his Uniform to me, And the stars he earned, The medals they gave. Would not sound proud At the phone,-- tired but satisfied, Him and Us-- Thought the father. And the bell rang . Behind the doors Where all assumptions And anxieties end in the Bittermost way, Stood two officers and a coffin . Breathlessly He opened the door. And She collapsed. Silent tears of his Overwhelmed the Remorseful shrill cry of hers. And they were handed over His belongings, He ,who belonged to them And the country. And the pride ,the prestige --The flag. Inside that wooden box Lies a body, Motionless,with a smile. Who lived life kingsize Who denied himself to save us. And outside, Stood four seemingly alive People. Motionless, Confused with agony. ---...

I will forget you, Burn you from my memory. Erase every single moment The laugh,the cry The words and at times without.. The tears--loving,hurting Still craving for more. I will use science To map ur souvenirs Inside my brain, the lobe and the cells. And I will wipe you out From there. I will shed the last tear Just before. I will laugh the insane laugh Just before. I will forget that part Where i dwindled between heaven & hell; Where I kept floating on the insoluble emotions & instead. I will never be desperate again, I will never walk in the rain With you and without. But I know It will be the same again. Till the next day I wake up And realize, It was another attempt Went wrong. Like millions other did,previously. When will my insanity rest And conclude I can not breathe you out As long as I am breathing in. Then I will try a next one, Satisfyingly reassuring me of its futility. Oh,no, Another day.... Oh,yes. from Inside. SoUmY@ Powered by ScribeFire .

Then we fought again. the other day. You for your idealism Me for mine. And inside these yours and mine We died. Pretentiously Our lives held on to a wire That we knew Would eventually cut Both ways. But again, We had started loving Red By then. SoUmY@ Powered by ScribeFire .

We pretend And assure ourselves Of our immediate present as a foregone past. Acidifying our senses, Our emotions and our reactions, Should I believe We aren't together anymore ? Still we act so natural. But do we ? Actually? In our stackfull of memories We see each other, Feel each other, Understand & Reciprocate But still choose to believe there exists nothing, Anymore, After that mutually dreadful day. So I want to ask you just once, Then why do you breathe a silent sigh Whenever I say "good bye..." !! To meet and act as strangers Is so easy for our nerves That we just forget Its not that so to Depart as lovers. Some questions are self-explaining. If not, Then I will take that sigh for an assurance... Anyday With you around. Relation unnamed. SoUmY@ Powered by ScribeFire .

Breathlessly I Stand my ground And like dreams hushed up YoU DaNcE A .n ..d I catch myself in the same tune. (A reverie that Seals us into{one}, SUMmation of sentiments +++ ++ + Deep feelings, Abundance in joy All tending & Merging & fulfilling its tangibility Into That special One, When every day is a FULL moon () Every moment is so special.. And when confession is so obvious THAT you almost forget To say what... And what not... In that moment none of us ARGUE Why should we Fill and refill exact words, when We realize you and I are just A R O L!o!v!e! U N D SoUmY@ Powered by ScribeFire .

Its so easy to say Life is like that. A breath of fresh air And a mindful of dreams Nourished, Nurtured. Expectations. But Under scrutinies, Cautious eyes & social obligations,it Kills the essence of spontaneity. Still we love, With idealism Romancing with honesty And a pure heart. Soon realizing It isn't happily conclusive always. False attires, Diminished hopes Sweet poison,everyday. Kills you ,doesn't it ? But in this Earthy catchfire And a lachrymal outcry Something remains. Though being apart We feel the reassurance of Sharing the same sky & the same stars. May be in the sweet nothings A piece of gold? Charming,Inspiring... Between the two hearts, Unclaimed, Unhindered & shyly The fluid just soothes the inferno Of a non committal relation.. The solute,that is, Just is Feeling together Being in magic ! SoUmY@ Powered by ScribeFire .

You still have those things, The gifts i sent, The letters I wrote & The poems I had dedicated. The ice cream cups, the chocolate wafers. & All the sweet nothings. People call me insensitive. May be a paranoia. 'Cause I don't have those Which you have of me. How would i tell you and why should I tell them, That Only a blink of an eye Was enough for me To relive those days. Can't you see I had you & I have you , the whole of Us As my memorabilia. SoUmY@ Powered by ScribeFire .

I will be burning again In your desire, In the passion of the Unblemished flame. And if not the lesion ignites one more scarface I will alone usher in the paradise for Us,for love. "Hurt me Burn me ..." Will scream my soul. I want to rekindle from the ashes Of your memories Where You burnt me in thy passion And I loved thee in salvation... SoUmY@ Powered by ScribeFire .

he stumbles across the streets And murmurs the deepest agony . I can feel it. Isn't he the poet we knew, We admired? Is he a past now... forgotten between the pages And the words of the caricatures ... So I went up to him. And offered him a helping hand. If ,at all,he holds on to them and the words bloom Like the yester days. But it was not to be. he crawled up his way, Himself. And seeing my eager face Realized my greed And he agreed. On a torn paper With a pen that didn't seem To be mightier than a sword at all. He wrote ---- "Your life has a deeper poetry Than my pen can ever offer." And i stood amazed. His seemingly impotence was the highest enlightened bit Called Life. Powered by ScribeFire .

Sometimes we Hold each other in Love's embrace And a softness radiates Inside me for you That transforms the glow In your face. And i can read between Your eyes. If you say the truth Or the lie,fewer times? For each day you dedicate me a rose Calling me better But I can sense When it is a pretence And when it is just Me. Inside you I reside. So When you say you love me .. And you mean it, I gasp.. Cause it makes things So much harder for the times When you don't. SoUmY@ Powered by ScribeFire .

I scribble past The words Just to realise There is this endless space waiting for your pen To write on But You are the one Who is Running ahead of it.. Or May be Falling behind ?? SoUmY@ Powered by ScribeFire .

How well can you Conceal the fact that The poet Lived, Wrote, & Left. And still the best poetry Took birth When he wasn't here Amongst us, But Inside. With the ink Called remembrance. *** ** * (...the mortal speaks...) And I had considered Presence is such a bliss Never knew Absence as the vaporising agony. SoUmY@ [This is a special tribute to all those poets of Ah,poetry who have left for some reasons.That include Latha mam,Sunita mam,Gopal,Manan,Sashu et al ] Please pardon my memory if I have missed someone very dear.AP will always miss you no matter what Soumya scribbles in incoherence & will be hopeful if ,someday,they just come back.. Powered by ScribeFire .

We write & rewrite A renewed verse. Some lines scribbled Some scratched.., An undiluted form of art,-- Crude,fresh Innocently revealing. Then we hide , From here and From there. Words invoked, Expressions discharged. And we guard ourselves beneath the poetry. Parchments pile up One , two, many. We hide beneath the hidden meanings. And one day it suffocates... Is there any place to resurface? We gasp under the falsehood. And a paper buries us yet again Silent,blank,-- Speaking the truth for Us. What we couldn't But did our Ephemeral Epitaph. SoUmY@ [P.S.--This seemingly unrealistic thought process has a special note of thanks to give to Rukhiya for her warm and sensuous touch on this subject and for enlightening me with them] Powered by ScribeFire .

Hush! Do not tell me yet The words I want to hear. Let the magic remain. Let it linger between The expected & the obvious. And when I go wild, Love me. Your eyes for my assurance. Your silence for my certainty. If I ever ask "How do you keep things vague" Give me a kiss. The buoyant feeling Would replete itself With the ethereal nectar. .... ... .. . And a bubble bursts! SoUmY@ Powered by ScribeFire .

Drenched in rain I saw words oozing out Of my breath, My blood And i felt empty. As the last word went out In discomforting disdain , I realized A poet's soul salvages Just when he can live Without words for Silence. My perforated soul embraced the much awaited Vacuum. SoUmY@ Powered by ScribeFire .

...And you sit motionless Your grip tightens on my hand Your face expressionless, Still voices grief, anger & helplessness. Me? I look down With my inabilities to hold on to you. And wait for a moment When you would B ...U .R ....S .T out.. The moment never comes. (Silence.....) prevails And I walk away, Awaiting endless moments And answering uncountable silent questions. Which you could have asked out L.O.U.D. Which you could have reacted on Retaliated on. You kept (.... numb ) I wondered. If only you could have been A bit more humane And a bit more Immature. I would have loved the pain Than being denied from it. SoUmY@ Powered by ScribeFire .

FIRST LIGHT A baby is born What is so unnatural? Millions do. But look, the baby holds onto his mother And those twenty six flowers Brought for him from nowhere. A POET GROWS He never had trouble With words Unlike making friends Unlike in the field. Unlike losing virginity And he found his strength In expressing himself. So he chuckled. THE POET LOVES HE didnt know Whom he had to love But he loved her. That brown eyed girl. And he realized his poems fast and with sense and feel. he realised this is love. So his silent gestures & lovable metaphors agreed on sweet consequences. And they walked in rain and made love Thereafter. , ; . Then there was that Blue eyed girl. Along came poems. He got confused. But felt enriched. It was his 'poetic liberty'. He reassured. THE POET MATURES The poet matured. So he thought And he became popular. He went certain As he could bring in fresh leaves From autumn trees. As he couldn't 'teach' poetry And as he got applauded Every tim...

An absolute pause Awaits the moment. Where I can laugh I can cry, I can surrender and Reign over me. MORALE : Life is strange. We know the obvious Still we ask for assurance. Self-satisfaction, Is it? I stand quiet. Almost breathless Expecting your whisper That will fill the heart. My eyes are closed. Vision is such a certainty I don't need it right now. MORALE : But it never came. Look through the rain Why don't you accept reality? Does it hurt too much? Still love ponders on Nothing.. I get soaked in rain I drench in realization Beyond that mist of sustenance There is no one standing. And I see my emotions Diluting Yet again. As I await The next rain. MORALE : Love remains. If not between you and me If not as a visible bond But in the pure daylight, In the emotional rain, In the vibrant nature And in You. .... The morale dies. But the girl remains. Reassuring herself If ever For a moment Wonder strikes And he utters Ssssh.......... ...............Love only. Dream on. SoUmY...

I gasp... A bit of a breather.., And I look out of the window. Is it a dark moon night?? I wait for sanity But only grimace sustains.. A sense of cruelty hovers around Devaluing my conscience. No pity, No mercy. I get down. I don't want to be the hunted. So I slit my wrist. In the lost city of humanity I sit victorious Waiting to ooze the venom Out of me. And I die. So as to live in purity. Impunity I claim. SoUmY@ Powered by ScribeFire .

She flew; With unbound joy And her Pegasus hopes Escaped through the mundane bond, As they gave me the Wings of love To follow her Wherever Love beckons, For us. SoUmY@ Powered by ScribeFire .

I stand Under the starry sky Where the dark welcomes His certainty and the stars reassure. A restless mind Pleads for his presence...-- Befalling silence, Baffling hopes, and icicle of wishes-- await. As I wait too For Him to embrace us, To protect us from plight From pain & From sufferings. Suddenly an awakening halo ! A new dawn.. And I stand amazed. As I see Him in me. In you And in all ! I feel reassured Relieved, and contented. And I walk Towards the light, For salvation. . [ To high hopes and good wishes... ] SoUmY@ Powered by ScribeFire .

On that fragment Of my life, I stood Shaking off All the obstination And perplexity. Being sure of myself Was the most Daunting task, That I had to Assume first and relate later. So I left all my Mundane whatabouts And the vices I was made of... Aware of. And I stood at the horizon Expecting You Above me. Then only The rainbow appeared. As I stretched my hands Only to be touched by You, I shivered. In Fulfillment. SoUmY@ Powered by ScribeFire .

I didn't realize Until her soft touch, Her shivering palm nudged mine. And that was it. Long lost, almost forbidden emotions lumped near my throat And tried to escape .... Sudden joy, Heartfelt Exclamation! And a loving tear. "Sssh! darling let us not cry tonight"-She said. I obeyed; As did my emotions. And i stared at her eyes As if only purity exists-- In her, For me. We let our eyes speak With silent gestures, Mischievous , Thoughtful, Caring & loving. "Happy Valentine's day" never came up. We always knew it won't. Our wishes were born in Each other's hearts. . . . And never died. . SoUmY@

Some wet words Some foggy dreams-- Enchanted, Relieved, Confused. And.. A moment of reckoning. Pondering thoughts. Dimmed in philosophy, Escapist realism. Still... Life thrives for love. That sensation, That magic, Tragic role reversals. But.. It remains. To live And to love Juxtaposed they seem. But isnt life so? Yes. Or Maybe No. Let me love. Being oblivious of all. Just.. Love` . SoUmY@

Blessed she felt And happiness echoed from Her silent gestures As she learned that Her womb now had the 'seed of life'. The transformation - From a woman to a mother; It thrilled her, Engulfed her into ethereal dreams Tender moments And happy-only memories. The silkworm of hope Wove coloured fabrics Until... Until it got rustled under negligence. But Little did she knew That her collateral string With her own baby Would prove to be its death cord. As she gleamed with hope, Expectation And a shining future, The umbilical cord Fastened, And tightened its grip on The life's tiniest spark To its futile culmination. A cold bleak death Invited the poor soul. As the unaware mother Had herself to blame only And chose her child's way. The cord hung itself cynically Being the unwanted witness to Two unfortunate deaths. SoUmY@ [Umbilicial Strangulation is a very rare accident in which the umbilical cord(the cord connecting the yet-to-be-born baby with mother)fastenes across the ...

We had held our hands As waves rushed in to wet our feet. A vision blurred, A hand secured, A moment of trust-- All contemplated into the absolute, Silence. We stood apart As waves rushed in only to mark us our dissection. A vision blurred, A hand tightening, A moment of agony- All circling into the nothingness, Silence... SoUmY@ I guess we all are accustomed to the term Dyslexia now. Powered by ScribeFire .